Everything outside of us, all the good AND the bad, is all a part of our own psyche energetically. To this, you make think, EH? I’m am not a narcissist, a murderer, or a rapist. And you instantly think of all those really negative imbalanced people who go around harming others. And you compare yourself to this, thinking, NO, I am NOT like that! And no, not quite, but yes. It is a paradox. Let me explain.
You have you own perceived and personally experienced identity, your own energy that exists as you being a separate self. And this is OKAY. You are on this earth to experience individuality. BUT, we are also ALL energetically connected. We are all from the same basic source energy. This basic source energy, created us and all that exists and all that is able to exist, EVER. All behaviours, all thoughts, all feelings, all reactions and behaviours come from this same energy source. It all comes from the same point of neutral energy of pure creation. Yes, we experience, right and wrong, but these are just concepts, also created from this same source of energy. The idea of right and wrong, is ALSO just a creation from this source. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with that either. Nothing is right or wrong about right and wrong. Nothing is wrong about anything.
You may think, so what you’re saying is, that I should be compassionate and not judge murders and rapists and etc, as wrong, that I should be understanding towards them? No. Like I said, NOTHING is right or wrong. Their behaviour is not right or wrong, and neither is your judgement and feelings of right and wrong about it all either. Everything JUST IS. EVERYTHING possible happening is just raw creation being expressed and experienced.
So with this understanding, of all that exists being connected, is realising, that ALL energy and behaviours ever possible, are all capable within you too. How can it NOT be, if all of creation and all that exists, came from the same basic energy source as you, within you, and created you as well? So, it is about accepting, loving and honouring ALL within your possible psyche. And it is that, it is that which is the trick. For if you show yourself and all that arises within you, UNCONDITIONAL acceptance, THAT is what will keep you balanced from becoming the extreme that hurts people.
It is the act of judging the self in ANYWAY that creates an imbalance in the self. If you judge any thoughts or feelings from yourself in anyway, that is NOT unconditional love. And the paradox here is, if you DO judge yourself or others in anyway, fully love and accept these parts of yourself too! This act of unconditional acceptance, and resistance to NO single part of your being in anyway, is what will dissolve judgement in all forms. Even when you catch yourself judging judgement in yourself or another, be okay with that too. Be okay with all the paradoxes of life. And if you find you can’t be okay with it, be okay with that too!!! See how deep this can go?
The very act of accepting all within you, even the darker thoughts and impulses, ego, pride, and all of it. This very act of loving all this as you do any other part of yourself, is what actually keep you in balance and makes you a whole, complete, centered and grounded individual.
Also, I am not saying that if you got hurt, attacked, raped or etc, that you shouldn’t be affected by it. Far from it. Like I said, nothing ever felt is wrong. It would give me scars and bad emotional effects as it would anyone else. No, what I am saying is, that on a soul level, we have all been, or will be (or should I say all are, as time isn’t really linear) both sides of the experience. We have been the attacker and the attacked. The murderer and the murdered. The rapist and the victim.
Think about yourself or maybe someone you know, who finds it hard to love themselves. They seem, so nice, sweet, giving and kind, yet maybe can’t handle compliments. They may never feel good enough, are too hard on themselves, and never seem to see themselves as others see them. In their mind, they have to be a ‘good’ person. Someone who does the right thing. Someone who is nice and lovable and believes that they will be deserving of that love and to be loved, by being such a nice and kind person. These people, are living and tipping (varying degrees) towards the opposite end of the scale of someone who we would label as a Narcissist. These are the ones who need to integrate and accept more of their own ‘darker’ aspects to balance themselves out. And these are the types I assume I will most likely be connecting to with who reads this. After all, this is the end of the scale I am evolving from myself.
Now people like narcissists, rapists and murderous, they are the OTHER end of this scale. But it’s still the same scale, the same story, the same lack of unconditional love and acceptance of some part of their psyche. It could be they hate how far and extreme they have behaved. Or they hate their more vulnerable side. OR, those who show no care and remorse, they have FULLY accepted and integrated the darker aspects of themselves, great, but again, it’s gone to an extreme, like the needy vulnerable love and light types.
Yes, if I can highlight, one extreme, the ‘cold, cruel, angry, violent, lying and manipulative extreme, then the other should be highlighted as well. The ‘needy, crybaby, whiny, I’m a victim and I’m so good and nice’ types. Both extremes are experienced because of a lack of the opposite integration. Because of not accepting parts of their psyche that they judge. And most likely, it’s on a subconscious level that they are not even aware of, as it has been so far pushed away due to judgement, and instead, being projected onto others. After all, we are all SO adamant, that we are NOT like this or like that.
And like I said above, this experience of an imbalance and experiencing either of these extremes, is not ‘WRONG’ either. In fact, you HAVE to experience it, for you to even know what balance is when you find it. It is all a part of your souls plan to experience one of these extremes, and then to experience the learning, discovering and lessons in finding this integration of self. So again, show unconditional compassion, acceptance and understanding towards your imbalances. You are always still loved, loving and lovable no matter what. And you do not need to integrate this balance of self to be LOVED. Or to ‘get it right’. You are always loved ANYWAY. THAT IS the point. I think we are meant to find ourselves at either extreme and love ourselves there FULLY, without the need to change to be ‘better’, BEFORE you actually begin to feel more balanced. It is the unconditional acceptance and compassion which allows this.
So it is okay to acknowledge that you may be smarter, prettier, slimmer, more aware, more conscious or whatever, than someone else. This is what I mean by integrating your Narcissist. Now, narcissists ONLY think they’re better than anyone else. A balance is being able to acknowledge that you’re ‘better’ than someone else in someway, while also being able to admit the reverse when you see it. If you go around being really humble all the time and not believing in your gifts, talents, skills, insights and wisdom, or not wanting to seem like a ‘show-off’, you can never step into your place and your purpose in life within your full power. Maybe becoming a spiritual teacher or a helper in some way. Which is what I think many reading this may eventually step more into. But really, this applies to anyone anywhere who may wish to make some dream of theirs a reality. But if you’re too humble, you won’t take the steps to make it.
This, of course, is only ONE of the ways of integrating your shadow as a BALANCED part of you. Of course, there are countless others. But this is your own personal inner journey to explore and take within side yourself. So the only advice I can give, is, just GO with all that arises within. The light and the dark. The soft and the rough. The beautiful and the ugly. And of course as always, play within the paradox. If you find resistance arises to what you find within, be with any resistance also.
It will be one hell of an inner journey. Beautiful, liberating and eye-opening. Plus soul-crushing, depressing and painful.
You want to wake up and grow? This is all a part of it.
So much love to you all. Take care and be kind to yourself. x
© INFJ 7.6.2017