I Am The Freedom Of Colour.

I am not my traits. I am not this ‘Condition’.

My labeled diagnosis of ‘Aspergers’, unfortunately, instantly puts me into a box of ‘lower’ judgment and supposedly expected behaviors.

Others view of me can change in a FLASH once they hear this label. They no longer view me as the fiery, creative, independent and wise lady they first felt they began to connect with.

Now instead their perception begins to look for confirmation of my supposedly illness and defaults. It begins to only look for the ‘negative’.

It is a Box. Nothing is as black and white as all the terms composed under a ‘Label’. We are all different.

Now imagine if you never knew of my label. You wouldn’t see or look for someone who is ‘weird’. You wouldn’t look for someone who doesn’t seem ‘all with it’. You would just see my positivity, my wisdom, my energy, my passion and my drive for life.

You could look at ANYBODY, label or no label, and see how we all have different ‘struggles’ in life. And actually, most perceived flaws are actually gifts that make us who we are. Who we are supposed to be.

The only reason the label Asperger’s exists, or any other labels for that matter, is because of the traits that are in contrast to this, i.e, the more commonly expected behaviours and understandings of ‘Normal’ behaviour and society. Which is also just another labelled term of expected conditions.

So yes, I accept and agree that I have the traits they have decided are my ‘Aspergers’. But I do not agree that I have a ‘condition’. There is no such thing.

Labels are all man made terms created by the way the mind works. It needs to categorize things for understanding and organization purposes.

I am just me. Leigh. Who is who she is supposed to be. No flaw. No wrongness.

The term ‘Aspergers’ mainly seems to focus on all the things ‘wrong’ with the person and their quirks. I used to judge myself this way too. I was quite unhappy and hard on myself. Now I have learned to see these same traits as my good points. To love them. Of course, everything has its good AND bad side. So it depends on what you choose to focus on. How you feel and judge the world, is all about perception and how you look at things.

My need for routine helps me be organized and productive.

My deep thinking makes me super philosophically intelligent.

My intense emotions make me very intuitive and in touch with myself and others energies.

My surrounding sensitivity helps me read the subtleties in a situation that others may easily miss.

My introverted nature naturally makes my inner world a more important and peaceful place to be in. In-turn focusing on important self-growth and care.

My heightened responses to outward stimulation, make me a natural at knowing what is needed to create a certain atmosphere.

My trusting nature, and seeing the good in others, helps me never lose the magic and trust in life. It helps me deeply understand what is needed mentally and emotionally for another’s inner-freedom.

My honesty creates deep meaningful and authentic relationships. People always know where they stand with me.

My idealist sets my standards. It helps me know my value and self-worth. In-turn treating others the way I would treat myself.

My high energy always keeps me striving forward. Keeps me motivated.

My vulnerability makes me lovable, compassionate and real.

And my clumsiness can certainly create a few laughs!

So you see, it’s all how you look at it. You can easily get lost in the negatives of these traits, but I prefer to love, honor and find positive, uplifting value in the way I am.

I am not defined by a label. I am not defined by perceived traits and expectations.

I am diverse and unique.

I am the freedom of color……

© INFJ 8.3.2017


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