I feel like I desperately need to be heard. Is anyone listening? Can anyone TRULY see and understand the real me? Where is he who can value and appreciate me for me? Can anyone else perceive the truth and wisdom that I carry within? Can anyone be my much-needed rock? The one who encourages me to believe in myself, when the rest of the world ridicules and laughs at my insights?
When I come home again, crying at being mocked and judged for my talk on unconditional self-love…Will there ever be anyone at home for me to return to? Who sees the gifts and love I have to offer the world? Who hugs and re-directs me to my inner light when I begin to doubt myself?
When you have wisdom and deep understanding and insights about the world and about people…When you have TRULY learnt what unconditional self-love REALLY means, and you want to share this with the world….You truly want to help and free others, by showing them the inner gift of TRUE unconditional self-acceptance……
But then you are not accepted for being yourself. You are JUDGED. Judged for sharing this. Judged as selfish, and self-obsessed, just for talking about the importance of self-love. Your insights that you KNOW are true, and could truly heal and free others….yet you are laughed at, or badly misunderstood.
I am still bloody human. I get doubtful and insecure when facing this kind of energy. I believe in myself, but I have to walk away as I am an Empath. And other people’s doubt, sadly becomes my doubt as well, until I have walked away and cleared myself.
So I have my own insecurities triggered, while also feeling their judgement and doubt towards me.
It is okay. I understand that not everyone can see the wisdom I am trying to share. Some, in fact many, WON’T get it. And I am not here to change the mind of the masses. I am here to connect to those who are already starting to see things this way, but are also still in high doubt of themselves, and just need some confirmation that they are not wrong or mad.
I am that confirmation. I am the voice that tells you, it is OKAY to love yourself fully and truly. It is okay to fully accept who you are, including your ‘darker-side’. It is okay to be ‘selfish’. There is NOTHING wrong with you, and there never was.
You do not need ‘fixing’ or ‘saving’ or ‘improving’ in anyway. You only need loving, understanding, accepting and compassion for the perfectly imperfect being that you are.
See how ‘wrong’ I am, for wanting to help others love themselves?
See how terribly ‘self-obsessed’ I am, for wanting to help others feel within themselves, a deep inner peace with who they are? If being passionate about self-love is some form of ‘self-obsession’ then fine, I fully and lovingly accept with no judgement that I am self-obsessed. Do you get it? DO NOT JUDGE yourself for anything. THAT is what UNCONDITIONAL, TRULY means.
But I am only human too, and I ask, that when I get sad, insecure and doubtful, where is MY rock? Where is just ONE person that I would like, who can SEE me and believe in who I am?
I will be okay. I always am. On my own, I may doubt, question, cry hard and shout at the world. But then I pull myself back together again with the self-love in my heart.
But I often wonder, when will I have the reflecting, loving and understanding arms of another? When can I come home to some much needed human comfort and compassion after dealing with the judgement of the masses…….?
It seems us wise ones are lone wolfs. When will my counterpart lone-wolf be here, to help me spread the word of unconditional love?
I await with my open arms and heart……..
© INFJ 02/2017