For a while now, I thought the most important thing, and my personal priority was Self Growth. But now I realise that no, the most important thing is Unconditional Self Love and Acceptance of Self JUST as I am.
If we are really driven by a need/desire for self-growth and self-improvement, this can often stem from not feeling that we are perfect and lovable, just as we are RIGHT NOW. We perceive parts of ourselves as ‘flaws’ and ‘damaged’, and that these need healing. And once they are healed, we will feel more happy. We need to be more this, and more like that. Need to think more like this. And feel this way. Respond like this. Be more ‘spiritual’. More growth ‘is needed’.
But ask yourself; If you didn’t ‘grow’ anymore, if you didn’t reach any of your ‘ideals’ of becoming the type of person you want and imagine yourself to be, could you still say, ”Hey, that’s okay, doesn’t matter at all, I’m perfectly wonderful and lovable just as I am right now. I don’t need to change at all.”
Of course, change is always to be embraced when it happens, but this also shouldn’t be the expectation. And often, the paradox is, when you unconditionally DON’T care if you change or not (for you love and accept yourself just as you are), that is when the most beautiful inner process’s of peace and magic start to happen. ❤
Most people turn to spiritual teachers and self-help theories and solutions, for they feel they need ‘fixing’. That there’s something ‘wrong’ with them. That they need ‘healing’. That they need to be ‘enlightened’. And yet the paradox is, the REAL healing begins when you realise you don’t need fixing or healing at all!!!! Then you begin to shred and release those layers and beliefs about yourself for thinking there was something ‘wrong’ with you that needed ‘fixing’ in the first place!!!
So paradoxically, really all we are healing from, is the beliefs that we need fixing and healing at all. For you realise that you are 100% unconditionally loved and lovable, no matter who you are, what you think, what you do and what you feel. You are who you are, exactly as you are for a reason. Perceived ‘flaws’, ‘doubts’ insecurities’ ‘shadows’ and all.
More Self Love is needed, not Self Growth. Well now, I think this is one and the same. For moving more into unconditional love for self, without feeling you need to change in anyway, IS the ‘growth’.
© INFJ 2016