Stop trying to heal yourself. Stop trying to ‘grow’. Stop trying to become ‘enlightened.’
None of that energy is UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE OF YOURSELF JUST AS YOU ARE. You may think you need to heal, grow, change, and be enlightened to be happier, more at peace and more fulfilled in your life. But it is that exact way of relating, that is causing the unhappiness in the first place.
If you instead, accepted yourself completely and wholly as you are, and realise that you do not need to change or heal or any of that to be happy and loved, that, is when you find the most inner love and peace. Right NOW in this moment, with WHO YOU ARE.
If you become fearful/worried/triggered/insecure about something, what is it that we most automatically do? Spiritual and ‘Happiness’ teachings I have noticed, tells us to overcome this. ‘Heal’ from ‘these wounds’. It is something we need to ‘fix‘. And so we try this. ‘Healing ourselves’. Looking forward to the promised land of freedom and enlightenment. Believing we need healing, without actually realising the subtle and hidden message this creates. A lack of unconditional love, respect and acceptance of ourselves, JUST as we are. Which ends up creating the OPPOSITE of UNCONDITIONAL love for self.
Now really think about that word and its meaning. UNCONDITIONAL.
What does it really mean? It is the opposite of ANY CONDITIONS.
What this means is, is that it is not dependant on whether you’re fearful or not fearful. On whether you’re triggered, or not triggered. Whether you’re insecure, or not insecure. What you’re upset about, or not upset about. What you think or don’t think. What you feel, or don’t feel. What you see, or don’t see. What you understand, or don’t understand.
So do you see? It does not matter? Just love and BE with who you are.
Honour, respect, value and love WHATEVER comes up within you, with complete acceptance, and no motive of trying to ‘get rid/overcome/heal from’ it. Trying to heal and fix yourself, is not owning and honouring yourself. It is not acceptance of self. It is OKAY that you get fearful sometimes, It is OKAY that you don’t trust sometimes. It is OKAY that you get insecure sometimes. It is OKAY that you get triggered sometimes. And it is OKAY if you got fearful and triggered by the same things FOREVER! Your still lovable and perfect, and meant to be as who you are!
Please know this dear ones. This way of being, actually transmutes any energy into unconditional love and inner peace, for you accept, AS IT IS. Which is actually then a message to yourself and your inner-child, that you are perfect and okay, JUST as you are. And that there is nothing ever ‘wrong’ with you. And you then give yourself the permission to be ALL of life’s different expressions.
Why do think children seem to get over so quickly their seemingly intense emotional outbursts? Because they don’t hold onto it. They don’t see anything ‘wrong’ with themselves and their expressions. They let go of it as quickly as it came. In trying to change and heal ourselves, which actually is a form of judgement towards expression, we actually hold onto it more, as we see it as something that needs fixing, rather than just letting it pass through.
And how often have you heard of people on the ‘healing’ journey, who keep talking about how the same issues keep popping up? And how they say, there seem to be so many layers to it? This is actually because when an ‘issue’ ‘comes up’, they automatically try and heal, fix and ‘overcome’ it, which is not unconditional acceptance of it. It will keep coming up and feeling uncomfortable, and feel like a ‘problem’ until you finally say, ”Hey, I love you, thought/feeling/expression, and I don’t wish to change you anymore. I will allow you to ‘JUST BE.” THAT is all is it asking for. ”Love me and accept me please…..”
If you feel fearful/insecure/triggered’ by something, give it love, value it. Value you, and ALL that you are. Fears, insecurities and all. Stop trying to fix, heal and overcome your perceived ‘flaws’. Let go of thinking that ‘healing’ is the way to being an ‘enlightened’ being and having ‘no more triggers.’ No, enlightenment is another level beyond that. One that ACCEPTS all feelings and expressions with honour and value.
We are all the Light AND the Dark. There is no such thing as being completely one or the other. And if you try to be, (and I suppose most of us reading this, like to think of ourselves as ‘wonderful love and light’ beings always being ‘good people’). This is not WHOLE.
Being WHOLE is actually about accepting, that some days, you will be kind and caring, other days, insensitive and selfish. Some days you will be a good listener, other days, not give a crap about what other people have to say, and just want to be the one talking. Some days you will be polite, and some days rude. Some days you’ll be wonderfully forgiving, other days you’ll be angry and feel revengeful. Some days you will be humble, and other days, you will feel prideful. Some days you’ll have loving positive thoughts. Other days, hateful negative thoughts. And the way for you to have your much wanted ‘POWER’ over all this, is to LAUGH and PLAY with all of it. Not trying to ‘overcome’ any of it.
If you feel that you are being rude, cold, impatient, prideful, fearful, jealous, angry, just welcome all this also, and see it as another facet of your human nature, that is not to be ‘fixed’ or ‘overcome’, but just to be loved and accepted as part and parcel of this crazy emotional human journey. Flow with it all.
Another point which I’d like to make is the Paradox to this all this. I talk about 100% acceptance of yourself and who/how you are without change. Yet I bet, there are things in yourself and in others that you will come up against, that no matter how much you think, ‘I just want to accept this’, you can’t. Well, the Paradox to all this is, accept that ALSO. Love and accept the parts of you that don’t accept yourself! This is true unconditional love and acceptance. Unconditionally accepting, non-acceptance. Non-resistance to the resistance. Otherwise again, you are only accepting acceptance, which is again, a ‘condition’.
Parts of us, only seem to have so much ‘power’ over us, when we turn things into an ‘enemy’ to be overcome. Nothing is an enemy. Nothing is to be overcome. We only make it so, with our ideas of fixing and healing from these things.
You do not need fixing or healing or saving.
Love thyself as you are.