So many of us are on the journey of self-discovery and self-understanding. This is wonderful.
But one important factor, I would like for us to grasp that would make the journey so much more fun, is to only do so with curiosity and compassion.
I think many of us (and I did too), began this journey with the motivation of self-improvement. We wish to improve and better ourselves.
Now while this sounds all good and noble, it unfortunately, creates the energy for us to judge and critique the things we begin to discover about ourselves. The inner journey begins to feel like some depressing and heavy thing, as we start to perceive more and more of ourselves we do not like and wish to improve upon.
On this journey, you may find yourself shocked when you discover certain aspects, traits, motivations, desires, thoughts, feelings and hidden impulses you discover you have and why. You may discover you are not who you thought you were at all. You will see flaws, ‘imperfections’ insecurities and vulnerabilities you wish you didn’t have.
You will meet your shadow self. The darker ‘ego’ side of your personality. The side of you that many will insist you need to ‘overcome’.
Yet this is not the way towards inner wholeness. We live in a current reality of duality. Yes, all is really one behind what we can fully comprehend, and it is this exact knowing that all is one, which makes you realise that you need to accept ALL of yourself. The light AND the dark. You are the Yang AND the Yin. Do not try and ‘overcome’, and/or try and ‘become’ just one way or the other.
”I unconditionally love and allow all thought and feeling to be acknowledged and accepted without judgement or resistance.” (Affirmation.)
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you go around saying whatever you want to people or treating them like crap. But it does mean that you unconditionally, and without judgement, accept any thoughts and desires like this within you. To not condemn them as anything ‘bad’. And even those times when you do say something mean to someone, act over-emotional, or act from your ‘ego’ self in any way, still continue to show yourself unconditional understanding and compassion.
My ‘shadow traits’ are, I’m a little vain, I can be quite snobby and sometimes selfish. I interrupt people when I get excited. I also don’t have a lot of patience with people who don’t ‘try’, and I’m quite sensitive to personal criticism. And other traits. But I am not seeking to improve or change anything. If things change through life, then great, I would, of course, go with any changes that occur. But I am not seeking to actively change anything about myself. I am only seeking to unconditionally accept and love myself for who I am, moment to moment. This is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
Once you truly start to accept yourself this way, you will begin to see how little of this there actually is in the world. We are all taught to only accept certain aspects and facets of ourselves since children. You may also grow apart from friends as you begin to realise that, although they mean us no harm as it is all they know, they can no longer show you the same unconditional acceptance you are beginning to give yourself. If this starts to happen, let life move this way. Trust the process, and know that people who support the same frequency as you, will eventually be attracted into your life.
We all come into this process I assume, for most of us to find inner happiness and peace. Yet this is not accomplished by trying to change or improve aspects of ourselves. It is accomplished by accepting, loving and allowing whatever you find in the depths of your being.
Now of course, when I say accept and allow ALL of yourself, that also means, accepting and allowing without judgement or resistance, the times when you DO judge yourself! Paradox! Apply the same principal to this as well. Showing the part of you that judges itself, the same compassion also. After all, it is just a conditioned part of you, that is not doing it on purpose. Show unconditional love there to!
This then starts to pave the way of being able to laugh at yourself! It helps you begin to not take yourself too seriously!!
It is this very motive, which actually does bring about the biggest inner change. A change of being comfortable in your own skin with WHOEVER you are. The strength to believe in yourself no matter what anyone else may judge of you. The confidence to be your true authentic self, all of yourself, showing others a new way of being okay with themselves. (But just remember, not everyone will understand.)
It is a paradox. We start self-exploration for we feel we need to ‘change’, ‘improve’ and ‘heal’. And yet the biggest transformation happens, when we start to not want to change at all…….
So please remember, yes, take this wonderful eye-opening and soul shaking journey of self-discovery and exploration. But not so with the intent of ‘fixing’ yourself. Not with self-judgment or resistance (even to the judgement and resistance!) Do so with a lighthearted, fun and thirsty curiosity. (Although there will be deep dark times.) Do so, just with the intent to understand and know yourself better. Do so, just to love and honour those dark corners of your psyche….Take unconditional acceptance and compassion for all that you meet, in with you…….
Have fun discovering and loving yourself!
Please check out this link for awesome Meme’s on the subject.
© INFJ 29.3.2017